It's really funny. For the last two days I have been searching. I was voraciously reading many books: "A Course in Miracles" (in both English and Spanish); books on Buddhism ("When Things Fall Apart," etc.), works of Shakespeare; biographies of my favorite writers. I've also been absorbed in spiritual videos on YouTube, videos by Gangaji and other spiritual teachers. I was searching desperately for "something." All of the above did bring me some fulfillment, some happiness, some hope. But they didn't quite bring me exactly what I had been looking for....
Then yesterday I called a mentor of mine and "demanded" some "life advice"! This mentor paused and thought, and then said, "Um. Don't take yourself so seriously." It was such a revelation. And it made me realize something. You see, it was so amazing that no matter how hard I looked, no matter how hard I worked, no matter how deeply I searched, I couldn't find what I was looking for. My mentor's words made me realize that I was trying too hard. What I was looking for was permission to not take myself too seriously.
I think this was the next step I have been working toward all summer. It's connected to a realization that I'm really starting to accept, that is really starting to sink in: that I don't exist. lol. Yes, on a practical level I do exist, but on an existential and spiritual level, I don't exist. This can be very frightening to the ego. But I think that once it is accepted, a great deal of peace comes. Ugh. But now I sound all serious again... lol
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
"A Course in Miracles" and empowerment
I feel awkward posting about this. I'd like to keep my postings and writings about "A Course in Miracles" as "academic" as possible. But the truth is that I'm not an academic, and I don't really want to be. I am first and foremost a human being, and then an artist. Yes, I think it's true that I'm intelligent, but I'm not an academic....
Anyway, it's very idiocyncratic of me, but the classes at the Foundation for A Course in Miracles were very empowering for me. I posted this video where I discuss the fact that while attending an ACIM retreat in Seattle back in 2003, I found myself walking all over Seattle, just as a sense of being empowered: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm7OS4jr--I
As can be seen in this above video, I am working out, which I have continued to do since returning from Temecula, as demonstrated in the following video that I posted yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZE9yO_aRIY
I don't have this all worked out yet. But there is some correlation between exercise and empowerment, and attending ACIM classes (at least the ones by Kenneth Wapnick) make me feel empowered. This made me figure out the following. You see, I've always wondered why, when I visit Temecula, I NEVER rent a car. I always walk. Walk, walk, walk everywhere. Examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU0WNJQlAjQ
And just today I figured out something else. I've wondered why I make myself take the Greyhound to Temecula. It's a long trip, more than a day oneway. And it's certainly not glamorous, at least the bus stops aren't. But on the other hand, there is perhaps no better way to get a good tour of all of Southern California than to take the Greyhound. Taking the Greyhound, I get to see everything from Los Angeles down to San Diego then up I-15 to Temecula. Prior to my first trip to Temecula via Greyhound, I didn't know Southern California at all:
http://www.youtube.com/user/coursestudent?feature=mhum#g/c/C92FDA01AA48B3AE
Andrew
Anyway, it's very idiocyncratic of me, but the classes at the Foundation for A Course in Miracles were very empowering for me. I posted this video where I discuss the fact that while attending an ACIM retreat in Seattle back in 2003, I found myself walking all over Seattle, just as a sense of being empowered: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm7OS4jr--I
As can be seen in this above video, I am working out, which I have continued to do since returning from Temecula, as demonstrated in the following video that I posted yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZE9yO_aRIY
I don't have this all worked out yet. But there is some correlation between exercise and empowerment, and attending ACIM classes (at least the ones by Kenneth Wapnick) make me feel empowered. This made me figure out the following. You see, I've always wondered why, when I visit Temecula, I NEVER rent a car. I always walk. Walk, walk, walk everywhere. Examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU0WNJQlAjQ
And just today I figured out something else. I've wondered why I make myself take the Greyhound to Temecula. It's a long trip, more than a day oneway. And it's certainly not glamorous, at least the bus stops aren't. But on the other hand, there is perhaps no better way to get a good tour of all of Southern California than to take the Greyhound. Taking the Greyhound, I get to see everything from Los Angeles down to San Diego then up I-15 to Temecula. Prior to my first trip to Temecula via Greyhound, I didn't know Southern California at all:
http://www.youtube.com/user/coursestudent?feature=mhum#g/c/C92FDA01AA48B3AE
Andrew
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Reflections on trip to Foundation for A Course in Miracles
There's something different about writing. I have an entire channel about my study of "A Course in Miracles," and yet I feel the need to WRITE about "A Course in Miracles" as well.
Ever since my trip to the Foundation for A Course in Miracles this summer, I've felt very different. I don't know if I can put it into words. I just have a different perspective, different priorities. I hate to throw this word around, because it gets thrown around so much in New Thought and Personal Empowerment literature, but ever since the trip to FACIM I feel a profound paradigm shift. In some ways, I feel like a different person.
I suppose it's just a deeper understanding of the fact that the world will never be fully satisfying for us. Satisfaction in life has to come from within. I suppose it's just a deeper understanding of the "A Course in Miracles" statements that, "My salvation comes from me," and "I need do nothing." I mean, in our consumeristic culture we are taught to seek for salvation of sorts in all kinds of areas, by shopping, having a fancy car, the right partner, whatever. ACIM says that none of this will satisfy us. We don't have to look outside of ourselves.
Maybe what I'm saying is that before my trip to FACIM I had really come to a point in my life where I was seeking satisfaction outside of myself, and ever since my return I am understanding that "nothing outside of (myself) can bring (me) peace, because nothing is outside of (me)."
At base, this is very empowering, but also a great deal of responsibility. We have so much power, the power to perceive things correctly. It's so much easier to go the ego's route, to blame others for our lack of happiness, fulfillment, etc.
Just some thoughts for the moment....
Andrew
Ever since my trip to the Foundation for A Course in Miracles this summer, I've felt very different. I don't know if I can put it into words. I just have a different perspective, different priorities. I hate to throw this word around, because it gets thrown around so much in New Thought and Personal Empowerment literature, but ever since the trip to FACIM I feel a profound paradigm shift. In some ways, I feel like a different person.
I suppose it's just a deeper understanding of the fact that the world will never be fully satisfying for us. Satisfaction in life has to come from within. I suppose it's just a deeper understanding of the "A Course in Miracles" statements that, "My salvation comes from me," and "I need do nothing." I mean, in our consumeristic culture we are taught to seek for salvation of sorts in all kinds of areas, by shopping, having a fancy car, the right partner, whatever. ACIM says that none of this will satisfy us. We don't have to look outside of ourselves.
Maybe what I'm saying is that before my trip to FACIM I had really come to a point in my life where I was seeking satisfaction outside of myself, and ever since my return I am understanding that "nothing outside of (myself) can bring (me) peace, because nothing is outside of (me)."
At base, this is very empowering, but also a great deal of responsibility. We have so much power, the power to perceive things correctly. It's so much easier to go the ego's route, to blame others for our lack of happiness, fulfillment, etc.
Just some thoughts for the moment....
Andrew
Monday, January 26, 2009
No guarantee things will improve (on material level)
Lately, one thing I'm thinking about is something Ken Wapnick said on one of his tapes. Just because you practice A Course In Miracles does not mean things will get better in your life, at least not on a material level. It seems that the New Age and New Thought genres are so full of paths that teach that true spiritual practice is always awarded with financial success. So, Dr. Wapnick's words are such a departure from the norm.
On one hand, this sounds disappointing. I wish it could be assured to me that if I practice the Course correctly then I will be rewarded with material success and assured material happiness and comfort. But on the other hand, what this means is that I can be happy no matter what. It also removes the element of guilt. It resolves that issue of "why do bad things happen to good people?"
On one hand, this sounds disappointing. I wish it could be assured to me that if I practice the Course correctly then I will be rewarded with material success and assured material happiness and comfort. But on the other hand, what this means is that I can be happy no matter what. It also removes the element of guilt. It resolves that issue of "why do bad things happen to good people?"
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Doing the Course the "wrong" way
It's funny, but perfectionism can often get in the way of me reading the Course. I make all sorts of excuses like, "Well, I need to start the workbook again, but I should start from the beginning and do all exercises exactly as written." It gets to the point where I can't even open the Course because I think to myself, "I need to start reading at such-n-such a place...."
Lately, I'm remembering something written about in THE MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT A COURSE IN MIRACLES. In that book, the authors write that the only way to do the Course is the "wrong way." What they mean is, you can't be perfectionistic about it. Perfectionism is a way of keeping you from reading the Course.
I remember years ago, in my early 20s, meeting a young lady who told me her parents had been reading the Course since she was a little girl. She then said to me, "Oh, let's open the Course and see where the page falls open and read whatever is there." I was surprised by this simple approach. The book fell open to one of the Workbook lessons, somewhere in the middle of the Workbook. She started to read the lesson. I then asked her, "How long ago did you go through the Workbook?" She responded that she had never been through the Workbook from beginning to end. She just opened the Workbook and read whatever page the book fell open to. I was so surprised to consider that you could read the Course in such an unstructured way.
Lately, I'm taking that young lady's advice. I'm just reading the Course wherever it falls open. My perfectionism about structured study of the Course is obviously an excuse to not read it, and thereby not practice what it teaches.
Lately, I'm remembering something written about in THE MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT A COURSE IN MIRACLES. In that book, the authors write that the only way to do the Course is the "wrong way." What they mean is, you can't be perfectionistic about it. Perfectionism is a way of keeping you from reading the Course.
I remember years ago, in my early 20s, meeting a young lady who told me her parents had been reading the Course since she was a little girl. She then said to me, "Oh, let's open the Course and see where the page falls open and read whatever is there." I was surprised by this simple approach. The book fell open to one of the Workbook lessons, somewhere in the middle of the Workbook. She started to read the lesson. I then asked her, "How long ago did you go through the Workbook?" She responded that she had never been through the Workbook from beginning to end. She just opened the Workbook and read whatever page the book fell open to. I was so surprised to consider that you could read the Course in such an unstructured way.
Lately, I'm taking that young lady's advice. I'm just reading the Course wherever it falls open. My perfectionism about structured study of the Course is obviously an excuse to not read it, and thereby not practice what it teaches.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Goal setting and present moment living
As all students of A Course In Miracles know, the Course says that the physical world is an illusion.
I don't remember the quote verbatim, and I don't remember where exactly it is in the Course. But there is a place in the Course that speaks about the devastation that comes when one realizes that the world in and of itself offers nothing.
I recently experienced this. I don't want to go into specifics, but for years I'd had a goal in mind, something I wanted to achieve and that I thought once achieved would bring me great happiness. Well, I achieved the goal I'd been seeking for years to achieve. But rather than bring me great happiness, it brought me great disappointment because I came to realize just how illusory my goal was. A somewhat disorienting place to be.
What this teaches me is that, as the Course says, what is most important is living in the present moment. It's quite a transition for me, because I tend to be an incredibly goal oriented person. But the present moment is really all we have, and we can only live in the present moment.
I don't remember the quote verbatim, and I don't remember where exactly it is in the Course. But there is a place in the Course that speaks about the devastation that comes when one realizes that the world in and of itself offers nothing.
I recently experienced this. I don't want to go into specifics, but for years I'd had a goal in mind, something I wanted to achieve and that I thought once achieved would bring me great happiness. Well, I achieved the goal I'd been seeking for years to achieve. But rather than bring me great happiness, it brought me great disappointment because I came to realize just how illusory my goal was. A somewhat disorienting place to be.
What this teaches me is that, as the Course says, what is most important is living in the present moment. It's quite a transition for me, because I tend to be an incredibly goal oriented person. But the present moment is really all we have, and we can only live in the present moment.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Robert Draper's comments on money
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddc4fIrEAIM
Above is a link to a documentary about A Course In Miracles. In this documentary a man named Robert Draper, president of the West Coast branch of Foundation for A Course In Miracles, talks about money. He says that if there are two things in this world that people feel guilty about, it is sex and money.
Mr. Draper goes on to say that he himself used to make money a very important issue in his life. But he came to realize that "money is a future oriented thing, and the Course is about living in the present." I found this statement to be amazing. I myself spend a great deal of time worrying about money, and it is usually future oriented. Well, come to think of it, worry is future oriented.
Anyway, Mr. Draper's words have brought me a lot of peace lately when I worry about money. I stop and remember his words, and then I remember that my worries about money are future oriented -- a future that isn't here, and a scenario that isn't likely to happen. I then bring myself back into the present moment, and all my concern goes away.
I think that in our society we are simply conditioned to worry a lot about money and to think that our self-worth is guaged by how much money we have and how much money we're making. As Mr. Draper says, "We're supposed to feel guilty if we make too much money. We're supposed to feel guilty if we make too little money. That's pretty insane."
Above is a link to a documentary about A Course In Miracles. In this documentary a man named Robert Draper, president of the West Coast branch of Foundation for A Course In Miracles, talks about money. He says that if there are two things in this world that people feel guilty about, it is sex and money.
Mr. Draper goes on to say that he himself used to make money a very important issue in his life. But he came to realize that "money is a future oriented thing, and the Course is about living in the present." I found this statement to be amazing. I myself spend a great deal of time worrying about money, and it is usually future oriented. Well, come to think of it, worry is future oriented.
Anyway, Mr. Draper's words have brought me a lot of peace lately when I worry about money. I stop and remember his words, and then I remember that my worries about money are future oriented -- a future that isn't here, and a scenario that isn't likely to happen. I then bring myself back into the present moment, and all my concern goes away.
I think that in our society we are simply conditioned to worry a lot about money and to think that our self-worth is guaged by how much money we have and how much money we're making. As Mr. Draper says, "We're supposed to feel guilty if we make too much money. We're supposed to feel guilty if we make too little money. That's pretty insane."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
