Course Student

On not taking ourselves too seriously

2010-09-03T02:55:00.000-07:00

It's really funny. For the last two days I have been searching. I was voraciously reading many books: "A Course in Miracles" (in both English and Spanish); books on Buddhism ("When Things Fall Apart," etc.), works of Shakespeare; biographies of my favorite writers. I've also been absorbed in spiritual videos on YouTube, videos by Gangaji and other spiritual teachers. I was searching desperately for "something." All of the above did bring me some fulfillment, some happiness, some hope. But they didn't quite bring me exactly what I had been looking for....

Then yesterday I called a mentor of mine and "demanded" some "life advice"! This mentor paused and thought, and then said, "Um. Don't take yourself so seriously." It was such a revelation. And it made me realize something. You see, it was so amazing that no matter how hard I looked, no matter how hard I worked, no matter how deeply I searched, I couldn't find what I was looking for. My mentor's words made me realize that I was trying too hard. What I was looking for was permission to not take myself too seriously.

I think this was the next step I have been working toward all summer. It's connected to a realization that I'm really starting to accept, that is really starting to sink in: that I don't exist. lol. Yes, on a practical level I do exist, but on an existential and spiritual level, I don't exist. This can be very frightening to the ego. But I think that once it is accepted, a great deal of peace comes. Ugh. But now I sound all serious again... lol

"A Course in Miracles" and empowerment

2010-08-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

I feel awkward posting about this. I'd like to keep my postings and writings about "A Course in Miracles" as "academic" as possible. But the truth is that I'm not an academic, and I don't really want to be. I am first and foremost a human being, and then an artist. Yes, I think it's true that I'm intelligent, but I'm not an academic....

Anyway, it's very idiocyncratic of me, but the classes at the Foundation for A Course in Miracles were very empowering for me. I posted this video where I discuss the fact that while attending an ACIM retreat in Seattle back in 2003, I found myself walking all over Seattle, just as a sense of being empowered: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm7OS4jr--I

As can be seen in this above video, I am working out, which I have continued to do since returning from Temecula, as demonstrated in the following video that I posted yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZE9yO_aRIY

I don't have this all worked out yet. But there is some correlation between exercise and empowerment, and attending ACIM classes (at least the ones by Kenneth Wapnick) make me feel empowered. This made me figure out the following. You see, I've always wondered why, when I visit Temecula, I NEVER rent a car. I always walk. Walk, walk, walk everywhere. Examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU0WNJQlAjQ

And just today I figured out something else. I've wondered why I make myself take the Greyhound to Temecula. It's a long trip, more than a day oneway. And it's certainly not glamorous, at least the bus stops aren't. But on the other hand, there is perhaps no better way to get a good tour of all of Southern California than to take the Greyhound. Taking the Greyhound, I get to see everything from Los Angeles down to San Diego then up I-15 to Temecula. Prior to my first trip to Temecula via Greyhound, I didn't know Southern California at all:
http://www.youtube.com/user/coursestudent?feature=mhum#g/c/C92FDA01AA48B3AE

Andrew

Reflections on trip to Foundation for A Course in Miracles

2010-08-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

There's something different about writing. I have an entire channel about my study of "A Course in Miracles," and yet I feel the need to WRITE about "A Course in Miracles" as well.

Ever since my trip to the Foundation for A Course in Miracles this summer, I've felt very different. I don't know if I can put it into words. I just have a different perspective, different priorities. I hate to throw this word around, because it gets thrown around so much in New Thought and Personal Empowerment literature, but ever since the trip to FACIM I feel a profound paradigm shift. In some ways, I feel like a different person.

I suppose it's just a deeper understanding of the fact that the world will never be fully satisfying for us. Satisfaction in life has to come from within. I suppose it's just a deeper understanding of the "A Course in Miracles" statements that, "My salvation comes from me," and "I need do nothing." I mean, in our consumeristic culture we are taught to seek for salvation of sorts in all kinds of areas, by shopping, having a fancy car, the right partner, whatever. ACIM says that none of this will satisfy us. We don't have to look outside of ourselves.

Maybe what I'm saying is that before my trip to FACIM I had really come to a point in my life where I was seeking satisfaction outside of myself, and ever since my return I am understanding that "nothing outside of (myself) can bring (me) peace, because nothing is outside of (me)."

At base, this is very empowering, but also a great deal of responsibility. We have so much power, the power to perceive things correctly. It's so much easier to go the ego's route, to blame others for our lack of happiness, fulfillment, etc.

Just some thoughts for the moment....

Andrew

No guarantee things will improve (on material level)

2009-01-26T23:44:00.000-08:00

Lately, one thing I'm thinking about is something Ken Wapnick said on one of his tapes. Just because you practice A Course In Miracles does not mean things will get better in your life, at least not on a material level. It seems that the New Age and New Thought genres are so full of paths that teach that true spiritual practice is always awarded with financial success. So, Dr. Wapnick's words are such a departure from the norm.

On one hand, this sounds disappointing. I wish it could be assured to me that if I practice the Course correctly then I will be rewarded with material success and assured material happiness and comfort. But on the other hand, what this means is that I can be happy no matter what. It also removes the element of guilt. It resolves that issue of "why do bad things happen to good people?"

Doing the Course the "wrong" way

2009-01-25T19:06:00.000-08:00

It's funny, but perfectionism can often get in the way of me reading the Course. I make all sorts of excuses like, "Well, I need to start the workbook again, but I should start from the beginning and do all exercises exactly as written." It gets to the point where I can't even open the Course because I think to myself, "I need to start reading at such-n-such a place...."

Lately, I'm remembering something written about in THE MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT A COURSE IN MIRACLES. In that book, the authors write that the only way to do the Course is the "wrong way." What they mean is, you can't be perfectionistic about it. Perfectionism is a way of keeping you from reading the Course.

I remember years ago, in my early 20s, meeting a young lady who told me her parents had been reading the Course since she was a little girl. She then said to me, "Oh, let's open the Course and see where the page falls open and read whatever is there." I was surprised by this simple approach. The book fell open to one of the Workbook lessons, somewhere in the middle of the Workbook. She started to read the lesson. I then asked her, "How long ago did you go through the Workbook?" She responded that she had never been through the Workbook from beginning to end. She just opened the Workbook and read whatever page the book fell open to. I was so surprised to consider that you could read the Course in such an unstructured way.

Lately, I'm taking that young lady's advice. I'm just reading the Course wherever it falls open. My perfectionism about structured study of the Course is obviously an excuse to not read it, and thereby not practice what it teaches.

Goal setting and present moment living

2009-01-10T23:34:00.000-08:00

As all students of A Course In Miracles know, the Course says that the physical world is an illusion.

I don't remember the quote verbatim, and I don't remember where exactly it is in the Course. But there is a place in the Course that speaks about the devastation that comes when one realizes that the world in and of itself offers nothing.

I recently experienced this. I don't want to go into specifics, but for years I'd had a goal in mind, something I wanted to achieve and that I thought once achieved would bring me great happiness. Well, I achieved the goal I'd been seeking for years to achieve. But rather than bring me great happiness, it brought me great disappointment because I came to realize just how illusory my goal was. A somewhat disorienting place to be.

What this teaches me is that, as the Course says, what is most important is living in the present moment. It's quite a transition for me, because I tend to be an incredibly goal oriented person. But the present moment is really all we have, and we can only live in the present moment.

Robert Draper's comments on money

2009-01-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddc4fIrEAIM

Above is a link to a documentary about A Course In Miracles. In this documentary a man named Robert Draper, president of the West Coast branch of Foundation for A Course In Miracles, talks about money. He says that if there are two things in this world that people feel guilty about, it is sex and money.

Mr. Draper goes on to say that he himself used to make money a very important issue in his life. But he came to realize that "money is a future oriented thing, and the Course is about living in the present." I found this statement to be amazing. I myself spend a great deal of time worrying about money, and it is usually future oriented. Well, come to think of it, worry is future oriented.

Anyway, Mr. Draper's words have brought me a lot of peace lately when I worry about money. I stop and remember his words, and then I remember that my worries about money are future oriented -- a future that isn't here, and a scenario that isn't likely to happen. I then bring myself back into the present moment, and all my concern goes away.

I think that in our society we are simply conditioned to worry a lot about money and to think that our self-worth is guaged by how much money we have and how much money we're making. As Mr. Draper says, "We're supposed to feel guilty if we make too much money. We're supposed to feel guilty if we make too little money. That's pretty insane."

A new year

2009-01-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

New years often comes with new resolutions. While I'm not making a new years resolution out of it at all, I have decided that I need to focus more on the Course than I have in the past few years. I am reminded of that story about Helen Schucman meeting with a woman who said to her, "If you use what you are taking down you will be the happiest person in the world."

There are so many circumstances in my life that are less than ideal. I make all kinds of excuses for why I can't be happy. But I'm reminded of the advice that woman gave Helen Schucman. Maybe I can take that advice for myself. Maybe I can use the Course and be happy no matter what. Actually, that reminds me of something Kenneth Wapnick says on one of his tapes, that you can always be happy and at peace regardless of external circumstances. I've been thinking a lot about that statement lately.

Anyway, my lesson for today is: "God, being Love, is also happiness," and "I seek but what belongs to me in truth."

FACIM's video on level confusion

2008-12-31T01:45:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjim1WaGDsg

I just watched the above video about level confusion. It's very interesting. Something about this video just brought a great deal of peace to me, a sense of being cleansed. So peaceful. It made me wonder why I had ever taken a break from the Course. Why go away from feeling peaceful when you can choose peace?

The information in this video is so cleansing for me that it almost makes me unable to write about it. I mean, it just clears my mind so completely. I suppose that sometimes the world just seems so complicated, and life seems so complicated, that it's interesting to find a path that makes everything so simple.

God did not create the world

2008-12-30T07:16:00.001-08:00

Probably the most amazing aspect of the Course, at least on a theoretical level, is the teaching that God did not create the world. I understand that this is taught in Hinduism and Buddhism as well. But, as Kenneth Wapnick writes, the Course is perhaps the only pure non-duality in the world.

It's impossible to fathom it. There is a place in the Course where it is referred to as a "senseless musing" to even attempt to imagine that God did not create the world and the world is an illusion, does not exist, never existed, etc. I suppose that's one thing I like about it: you can't imagine it. I suppose I like ideas that are so abstract that they cannot be grasped by the conscious mind.

Anyway, it just brings me so much peace to consider that the world is an illusion.

A return to the Course

2008-12-30T05:53:00.000-08:00

This is a blog about "A Course In Miracles." Because there is a great deal of information about the Course online already, I will not reinvent the wheel. I'll just say that the Course is a three-volume self-study book about spiritual psychotherapy.

I was introduced to "A Course In Miracles" when I was 21-years-old. Like many people who study the Course, I go through down-times, periods where I feel I just have to set the Course aside. Then something happens and I decide to study the Course again. I then come to the Course with a new appreciation for how beautiful it is on every level, not only the spiritual truths but also the very language. Helen Schucman was a poet. I am then left scratching my head, wondering why I set the Course down for a while....

One reason I occasionally set the Course down is because, though beautiful, the Course is also hard work. I remember telling one friend about it, and she said that it is "just so deep." That's true. Another friend mentioned that the Course "shakes up your life." This is true as well. Sometimes the depth, and the sense of one's life being shaken up, can become overwhelming, necessitating setting it down.

So, anyway, I'm back now ... for the time being....